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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273439">At the Edge of the Universe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justabitwayward/pseuds/justabitwayward'>justabitwayward</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steins;Gate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Heartfelt, Light Angst, Why do I do this to myself, i just want him to be okay, my poor boy, okarin dreams, okarin suffers once again, pls read thanks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:41:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273439</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justabitwayward/pseuds/justabitwayward</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked at her hand. He wanted to hold it, so he did. She gripped just as tightly, as if afraid of what would happen if she let go. A silence echoed in the void, but this time it was comfortable, full of things that didn’t need to be said to be known.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Okabe Rintarou | Hououin Kyouma/Makise Kurisu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>At the Edge of the Universe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title is from “Dream Sweet in Sea Major” from Miracle Musical, and the quote in italics is the introductory monologue to the show. This is set early in the Steins;Gate 0 timeline/after Steins;Gate episode 23 and before 24. Also listen I KNOW Okarin’s actual first name is Rintaro but honestly I do not care I’m still calling him Okabe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>Clouds spiraled through Okabe’s head and poured out his ears. Colours shrouded his eyes and swirled through a space that could’ve been either empty or painfully full. </span><em><span>Consider, can the universe be justifiably called infinite?</span></em> <em><span>Doubtful…</span></em><span> But was it? Wherever he was, it seemed pretty infinite to him. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been floating in this odd space for some time now, and, as it tended to do, his mind got away from him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Spacetime</span>
  </em>
  <span> had always been interesting to him. Was that what this was? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It may not have a discernible end, but it had a beginning… </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okabe opened his hands and scooped up some of the odd, frothy substance, but it poured through his fingers. If it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> spacetime, Okabe couldn’t trust it. Time had, again and again, proven itself to be cruel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this wasn’t cruel. It was only beautiful. It was only colourful mist, and time didn’t seem to exist here. He hadn’t been floating for hours, because hours weren’t here. He wasn’t 18, or 19, or 6, or any of those numbers, because age didn’t come here, and years had no place in this infinite </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. At least, he hoped so. It was nice to think that time couldn’t hurt him here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, he had to be honest, there wasn’t much to do, and he kind of missed his lab members. He wondered if, perhaps, Mayuri or Daru could join him in his infinity. Or maybe… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was too much to hope. She was gone, after all, and he didn’t have any way to time travel anymore. Besides, she’d sacrificed herself. She wouldn’t want him to mess that up. She was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...and its component parts definitely have a limited cosmological shelf-life… </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet still, his eye caught a glimpse of red. A figure came into his view, the very one that slept on the backs of his eyelids and loomed over him when he woke too early or stayed up too late. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a whisper. “K… Kurisu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The figure turned to face him, meeting his eyes with hers like amethysts, like lavender dreams of whimsy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Splitting hairs or not, if history tells us anything, it's that scientists often make very poor poets.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Okabe-kun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okabe choked back a sob and took a step towards her. “You remember me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hououin Kyouma!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she said, in a terrible impression of Okabe’s former alter-ego. “Why are you here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should be asking you the same question! You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurisu rolled her eyes. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is ‘here’, exactly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shrugged, and her voice seemed to echo in each odd cloud of mist. “Somewhere far away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” Okabe’s shoulders relaxed, and he sat. Kurisu sat beside him, and together they looked out into the expanse of colour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t miss Mayuri? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> go through all those time-leaps for her. I thought you’d want to keep a closer eye on her after all that dying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’ll be alright this time. She’s gotten on fine without me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurisu glanced up at him. “I’m sure she misses you. You’re very important to her, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me being gone if it meant I got to see you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you go back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okabe turned away from Kurisu to observe the swirling clouds around them. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should. This won’t last forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forever doesn’t exist here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“True,” Kurisu said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okabe brought his knees to his chest, heart clenching. Maybe the time of forever didn’t exist, but their forever did. “Have you been here long?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If forever doesn’t exist here, neither does ‘long’.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okabe hummed in acknowledgement. He looked at her hand. He wanted to hold it, so he did. She gripped just as tightly, as if afraid of what would happen if she let go. A silence echoed in the void, but this time it was comfortable, full of things that didn’t need to be said to be known. Okabe thought he could stay here in her presence forever—or, whatever forever meant here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he felt a tingling in his hand and in the back of his mind, and Kurisu looked up at him and smiled sadly and said, “Now is the now when you leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if I don’t want to leave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re needed back at home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My home is with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He wrapped her in his arms, running trembling fingers through her hair for what could be the last time. “I don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Okabe. Maybe I’ll see you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clutched more desperately, trying to hold on—to keep her here or to pull her back with him, he didn’t know—but he didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. He couldn’t, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>3:30 A.M. That was what the clock beside his bed read when he turned to see it. As he watched, a minute passed. 3:31 A.M. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We're all just a ship of fools chasing phantoms heedless of what really underwrites natural law.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so anyway I’ve got a new favourite anime</p></blockquote></div></div>
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